When one door closes, another one opens. New starts encourage us to achieve new goals, to replan the route; to cross it out and start again, or perhaps, even, to take a new one. At New Year we reset the counter and while some make commitments to the gym, others reach for books. Each list of resolutions is unique, but if there is one thing which unites us in this new beginning, it’s the urge to improve some aspect of our life. Prosperity and purpose go hand-in-hand today.
The bottom line is that seeking our wellbeing is something intrinsic to human beings, there is nothing strange or bad about it. In fact, wellbeing itself has become one of the most overused words this year. To give it some context: the last two years of uncertainty that we have been through, the reconnecting after having been so restricted, a new order of priorities… All this leads us on a quest for better moments, bigger pleasure, more balance. In a nutshell: happiness.
Where is the wellness?
Wellness can be found anywhere, at any time, in the company of whomsoever you choose or all on your own. Desire makes us focus on wellbeing and not the other way round (as we are used to). Your wellbeing activity might have nothing in common with somebody else’s, because you don’t share the same desires. That’s why the key to finding wellbeing is knowing what you do and don’t like.
So often we do things out of inertia. It happens in all areas of life, not just the sexual one. Something which might be deemed normal and fun, such as going out on the town, might not be someone’s cup of tea. However, this supposedly “normal and fun” thing pulls you towards a reality that you don’t really want, but you believe is right.
Let’s get this straight, going out on the town is great for those who want to; but what about those who don’t? This same reflection could be made about everything; your habits, sexual practices, your leisure time, your work… Taking things for granted can distance you from your wellbeing. So, how do we get closer to it?
It’s as simple as listening to yourself
There’s a lot of noise out there. Preconceived ideas and the collective worldview can often lead us into situations what we haven’t even assessed. Do I want to be here? Does this really appeal to me? Do I like it? What do I truly desire?
Challenging and listening to yourself is a healthy exercise for learning more about you and your tastes. You may have a fully-fledged personality, a well-defined character and your routines may tell us all we need to know about what kind of person you are, but stop and think a minute: If you could do anything at all right now, what would you be doing? And now the answers will start flooding in.
Wellbeing as a whole
But this hackneyed concept of wellbeing, what does it actually involve? Is it just the bogus and unfulfilled search for happiness of yesteryear? Not exactly. We have already assumed that happiness is comprised of specific moments; that a happy life is one which is made up of happy moments. But wellbeing (although it may well generate happiness) stems more from responsibility: making what you’ve got into a reality you’re okay to live in. For example, being given a surprise invitation to eat in your favourite restaurant is a happy moment. Making the decision to accept is advocating for your wellbeing. And, in case you were wondering, yes, this also constitutes a happy moment.
Wellness is balance, it’s pursued pleasure. It differs from hedonism and vanity in that this search is mindful of what we truly want and deserve. Furthermore, alongside physical wellbeing, it also encompasses mental and spiritual wellness so that you can care for and nurture your whole self with whatever brings you pleasure, support and balance.
Sexual wellness as a link
Sexual wellbeing is part of general wellbeing, for sure. It is yet another link in the complex chain which is you. To look after your sexual wellbeing is to work on your holistic wellbeing. Asking yourself questions and listening to your answers can also apply to the sexual realm. Discovering your true desires, prioritising pleasure, getting to know your body, enjoying it and distancing yourself from preconceived ideas will build a good, close relationship with your sexuality.
This is because sex feeds into all the other parameters which make you who you are. At a physical level, it is excellent physical exercise, it improves pelvic muscles thanks to orgasms, it brings a glow to your skin, boosts your immune system, and reduces pain. At a psychological level, it increases self-esteem and self-perception, releases endorphins which reduce stress, bring a very pleasant feeling of wellbeing and relaxation, and help you get to sleep. And at a spiritual level, be that inter- or intra-personal, it connects you to other people and to yourself. Sex is an innate language which bonds people or reconnect you with your most primal self.
Now let’s get on with the resolutions.
Resolutions for 2024
Wellbeing is not unattainable, not at all, and what’s more it is a background task. The good thing is that for every step forward to take, you’ll rarely take one back. Looking after and nurturing yourself could become your lifestyle, your philosophy. Heed your sexual desires, the practices which turn you on, self-exploration… this could open up a whole new prism in which pleasure is on tap.
What do you reckon to these resolutions for 2024? Will you keep them?
- Prioritise my pleasure.
- Challenge my desires
- Reshape my desires.
- Respect my space.
- Reconnect with myself.
- Nurture my body.
- Nurture my mind.
- Eschew preconceived ideas.
Add to this list of resolutions for 2024 anything which nurtures your sexual wellness. Remember that wellbeing is achieved through knowing yourself, tending to your true desires and finding balance. You shouldn’t commit to keeping anyone else’s resolutions, only your own! ;)