20 questions for really getting to know someone you like

Questions are the best tool for getting to know someone. And not just because what we ask can give us information about the other person. It’s also useful for finding out how we feel about the answers we get, whether we have similar perspectives, ways of doing things, hobbies, expectations...

But all too often we don’t know what question will help us really discover the important stuff about the other person. That’s why we’ve got 20 questions for you, recommended by a Sexologist, which could help you learn more about the person you like and reasons why it’s interesting for you to ask them. 

  1. How do you like people to show they love you?
    To discover their language of love and be able to learn to speak it. (https://somospeculiares.com/articulos/5-formas-distintas-de-expresar-y-sentir-el-amor/) 
  2. When something scares you, how do you react?
    To discover how they deal with difficulties.
  3. What do you most like about your colleagues?
    To know what they value in a friendship.
  4. What things do you like to do alone?
    To discover if they seek their own space and are comfortable in their own company, or if they are more of a dependent person.
  5. Where would you like to travel if you could?
    So you can take note and discover if you have hobbies and interests in common (depending on whether they tell you that they like discovering new cities, lying in the sun, or climbing mountains).
  6. Do you like your work?
    To know if they are someone who is passionate about their work, works because they need to, stays put so as not to stay from their comfort zone...
  7. Why did your previous relationships end?
    To discover if they are still mourning a breakup (by the way in which they talk about it), to discover toxic patterns or to know how they deal with farewells and grief.
  8. What do you most value in a partner?
    To find out what their priorities are and what they most value in a relationship (be sure to pay attention to whether they include communication in the list as well as pleasure).
  9. What is your favourite film/book?
    You can discover a lot about a person from their preferred film or book: whether they are romantic, intellectual, pragmatic, curious...
  10. What would you change about society?
    Finding out if you have values in common at a social level can be interesting too.
  11. Are you a morning person or a night owl?
    To find out if you have similar habits.
  12. Do you receive or have you ever received therapy?
    To find out if they have done any work on themselves or if they are keen to be the best version of themselves and to understand their emotions.
  13. What moment in your life was key to your personal growth?
    This will give you a lot of clues about what they have overcome and how.
  14. What would be your perfect day?
    Take notes and discover if they like routines, are creative, extroverted, introverted...
  15. Would you like to have a child/children one day?
    To find out whether you have the same expectations of the future.
  16. Do you believe in God or any divine power?
    To find out if they are a believer, what they believe in and if you share those beliefs.
  17. What is you biggest dream?
    To find out what their personal aspirations are.
  18. What is your plan for surviving a zombie apocalypse?
    A random question will allow you to connect and conspire together, not to mention find out their top survival plan.
  19. What was the worst date you have been on?
    So that you don’t repeat it... and also to discover what they value in a date.
  20. Where would you like us to meet next time?
    To find out if they have been at ease this time and, above all, whether they think a next time is a possibility.

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