12 Months of Kink: 12 Things to Try with Your Partner in 2023

Happy new year to all of our beautiful readers and beyond! 

It’s finally 2023! And for many, it’s an opportunity to make resolutions, to plan new projects and goals, and to start on a brand new page. 

And why shouldn’t we? Whether you had a great 2022 or a horrendous one, you have the chance to start fresh, to live your best life, and to do some of the things you’ve always wanted… including in your intimate life.

So, instead of the usual “12 days of Christmas” trend, we’re starting a new one called the 12 Months of Kink!

As we mentioned, many celebrate the days leading up to Christmas, aka “the 12 days of Christmas”. 

And while that’s a lot of fun, we wanted to help you out with something a little racier… something outside of the box. We wanted to empower you and give you some ideas on how to make 2023 a year of experimenting with kink.

Feeling apprehensive? Wondering if kink is for you and your partner? There’s no need to stress. 

We’ll start off with sensual and gentle ideas and activities for couples, and work our way up to spicier ideas. 

Start off slow, or mix them up, whatever feels more fun, comfortable, and adventurous for you!

But before we begin, let’s take a wander through some new year’s resolutions for couples!

The most important thing when it comes to new year’s resolutions for couples is that your goals are attainable. When you set non-realistic resolutions, you’re basically setting yourselves up for failure. 

Small goals that have been discussed and agreed upon by both partners is not just a way to prepare for a successful year, but also prompts communication. Both of these are excellent to have in a relationship.

Then, when it comes to setting these resolutions, remember that they don’t solely need to involve intimacy. 

Sex and experiencing sexuality is great. Being able to connect on an intimate level is important, yes. And being able to freely express your sexual and intimate thoughts and interests in a space that feels welcoming can make a huge difference in how you navigate your intimate life.

But remember: being in a relationship also includes connecting on other levels. 

When you set your goals together, it means that both of you are on the same page. It’s a way in which to plan for the future, and how you can both get there together. 

Again, doing this is a great way in which to communicate with each other, about your hopes, dreams, desires, and individual/shared visions. 

This could be anything from financial, emotional, physical, or creative goals, be it together or independently. 

At the end of the day however, having shared new year’s resolutions and goals in a partnership is a way for you and your partner to work together in order to strive for something that you both want. This can make you stronger as a couple. 

Communication itself is extremely healthy in a relationship, so by sitting down together to discuss your goals and resolutions openly and honestly, free of judgment, you can pave the way for a trustworthy, fulfilling, and equal partnership. 

And to reiterate what we said earlier, make sure that your couples new year’s resolutions are specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-limited. This is an excellent way to ensure success.

To go more in detail, we’ve compiled a list of 2023 New Year’s resolution ideas for couples. 

These are definitely not mandatory, nor will they be suitable for everyone. They’re merely a bit of inspiration to get you going on your 2023 list of goals to achieve with your partner.

• Talk for 30 minutes a day without distractions: this includes having uninterrupted 30-minute conversations with your partner every day in order to nurture your relationship.
• Make a list of each other’s triggers: to do this means that you can consciously avoid conflict, and instead, have healthy communication without bringing up old wounds.
• Take a “time out” when a discussion or argument gets too heated: when we’re in the midst of anger or rage, it’s easy for unnecessary and hurtful things to come out. By taking a bit of a break, you’ll both have the space and time to think more clearly and to communicate with each other in a healthier and more productive way without having to fight dirty.
• Once a day, tell your partner why you appreciate them: receiving one simple compliment or act of gratitude a day can really change the way someone feels about themselves and their day. Why not consult the five love languages and use them to your advantage when showing appreciation towards your partner? This can create a positive cycle of generosity. 
• Connect throughout the day: technology has made it a whole lot easier to connect with the ones we love or lust after. This doesn’t mean texting or calling your partner every hour, but one study actually confirmed that texting to express affection has been associated with higher attachment levels for both men and women.

Make time to enjoy shared hobbies together: it’s no secret that couples who spend time together are happier and more satisfied. So when you actively enjoy doing something together that you both love, it can create new memories based on shared interests, and help both of you to develop a deeper and stronger bond.  

Go on dates: There’s a study that shows that couples with children who have at least one date night a month have a 14 percent less chance of splitting up as opposed to those who don’t. The plot twist however? These statistics weren’t relevant when it was a planned date night. In other words, spontaneity was the key in this specific case study. 

Be more adventurous or explorative in bed: just as we mentioned that communication is one of the most important things in a happy relationship, having a non-judgemental space to talk about your sexual needs and fantasies can make such a difference. And in doing so, you may just realise that you share some of the same desires as your partner. Instead of going for the usual things in bed, why not discuss and find new things to try with each other? There’s always more to learn! 

Ready to add a bit of magic to your sex life? Well, strap in! Because we’ve got one heck of a list of sex practices for your new year’s resolution list! 

Starting from the month of January, you’ll have your entire year in sex mapped out for you! Of course, you have the power and freedom to change things up, swap them out, or even make up your own using our guide as inspiration. 

And actually, this is exactly what we hope to achieve! We know that one size doesn’t fit all, so our 12 Months of Kink 2023 sex guide is merely a way to introduce you to some new pleasurable experiences… to wet your beak, shall we say? 

We hope that it prompts some sexy and safe conversations with your partner, and a way for both of you to really indulge in your most intimate fantasies, old or new.

In other words, there are some interesting, intriguing, arousing, and kinky ideas here for everyone to play around with. Consider it a sex challenge, perhaps? Doesn’t that sound cheeky!

January is the perfect time to take things slow and to ease into a new kind of intimacy. And an intimate massage is a great way in which to experiment with easy kink and adventures with your partner. 

The giver of a sensual massage can slowly begin to massage non-erogenous spots with intention, such as the legs, arms, and tummy. This message should not be rushed. After about 30 minutes minimum, you can inch closer to their intimate spots.

The main things to take note of when it comes to practising an intimate massage are:

• It should be done with mutual consent and when both partners feel relaxed and comfortable.
• The main goal of an intimate massage is not orgasm but rather connection and sensuality. 
• A sensual massage oil will make the experience a lot better, aiding in smooth slides and extra sensations.
• An intimate massage is a mutually beneficial activity for both the giver and the receiver, both should be mindful before, during, and after.
• Communication before, during, and after can pave the way for even more transcendent intimate massages, and could lead to finding new ways of experiencing gentle intimacy together.

Using a blindfold can be an incredible experience when you’re with someone you trust. It effectively removes one of our most important of the five senses, sight, which means that your other senses may be heightened for an extra bit of intense play. Start off with something soft and comfortable such as the Shh Blindfold that’s made of silky double-sided satin, which will aid in comfort and desire.

The main things to take note of when it comes to using blindfolds are:

• Making sure that both partners are on the same page and are ready to indulge in this kind of play.
• Finding a blindfold that feels comfortable for the wearer.
• Putting rules and agreements in place before engaging in this type of play.
• Feeling 100 percent ready to surrender and allow yourself to tap into your other senses.
• Not over complicating things by adding other extremes into your play, as this may become overwhelming, especially for beginners. Take it slow and sensual, perhaps adding in props like a tickler for added euphoria.

The nipples are a highly sensitive erogenous zone, especially for women. It’s a spot that’s rife with nerve endings, so when they’re stimulated, there’s a big chance of enjoying a rise in libido and desire. In fact, the same part of the brain is activated when the nipples are stimulated as when the genitals are stimulated!

The main things to take note of when it comes to nipple play are:

• Everyone is different, which means that some individuals have more sensitive nipples than others. Be mindful of this and communicate with your partner throughout the process.
• Starting off slow, by simply rubbing or licking the nipples is a great way to ease into the experience.
• After time, a partner may enjoy harder nipple stimulation, which could include biting or even props like nipple clamps.
• You can experiment with temperature play on the nipples using a Nipple Play Gel, which gives off a cooling effect (and is also edible).
• Using Nipple Play Gel or another kind of lubricant will reduce friction, making it more erotic and enjoyable for the receiver.

There are so many reasons why mutual masturbation is an excellent thing to try with a partner. For one, it can be a teachable moment where you show each other what you really love and what gets you all riled up. Secondly, pleasuring yourself will ensure that you reach orgasm. And finally, it plays into the whole voyeur and exhibitionist fantasy that some may have.

The main things to take note of when it comes to mutual masturbation are:

• Making sure you’re both comfortable enough to masturbate in front of each other.
• Consider using an aid that’ll make the experience even more delicious, such as a Finger Play Gel or other sex toys.
• Seeing the experience not only as a sexual activity, but also a moment to really find out what your partner loves.
• Mutual masturbation is a form of intimacy that doesn’t involve penetration, which can really transcend your sexual relationship as you focus on foreplay rather than penetration.
• Making eye contact during mutual masturbation can increase intimacy between you two, making it even more meaningful and seductive.

We’ve briefly mentioned temperature play in April’s nipple play adventures, but let’s dive in deeper. Temperature play is when you experiment with hot and cold sensations. It could be in the form of using ice cubes, candle wax, or other things. Why is it a fun way to experiment with kink? Because it stimulates the body’s neuroreceptors, giving off a sensual effect.

The main things to take note of when it comes to temperature play are:

When the body’s neuroreceptors are activated, it can provoke a sensual reaction, which is why temperature play is more commonly known as a sensation kink.

• Consent is a must! Experimenting with temperature play needs to be fully welcomed by both partners.
• It need not be too intense, and you could start off with something simple such as a Cooling and Warming Nip Gloss. Simply apply to the lips, and kiss your partner to feel the subtle yet erotic effects. 
• Other things to use for temperature play can include food, which can be equally as arousing, such as warm chocolate syrup or cold whipped cream.
• You could consider more intense objects such as metal or glass toys that can be cooled or heated, then used on a partner, depending on if both partners are comfortable with this.

For half of the world living in the northern hemisphere, July is the perfect time to experiment with outdoor play as the sun tends to shine. If you’re on the opposite side of the world, feel free to swap this one to a warmer month! Outdoor play doesn’t have to mean going full-on in plain sight. In fact, there are so many fun ways to enjoy outdoor play that are entirely discrete and very fun.

The main things to take note of when it comes to outdoor play are:

• To prepare in advance so that there are no unexpected surprises or chances of getting caught.
• Keeping it simple such as touching each other under the table at a restaurant.
• Making sure there are no minors or people who can catch you doing illegal activities in public.
• Making use of a wearable vibrator that’s chic and inconspicuous, such as the Frida Wearable Vibrator. This sex toy is inserted into the vagina, hidden under clothes, and controlled using an app… fun anywhere, anytime.
• You could go for some good ol’ fashioned car sex or intimate foreplay, as long as you’re in a quiet and empty area.

Spanking need not involve heavy whips and floggers. In fact, spanking is something that many people enjoy during foreplay and penetrative sex. If you’re new to spanking however, why not give it a go and see how you like it?

The main things to take note of when it comes to light spanking are:

• Making sure that both partners are comfortable with this kind of kinky activity.
• Coming up with a safe word or action that’ll prompt the one spanking to stop when the receiver is uncomfortable.
• Choosing how, where, and with what you will spank your partner. For example, the buttocks is usually the safest area to spanking and it can be done with a flat hand. 
• Starting off with small spanks first to gauge how your partner feels. If they’re intrigued, you could go harder.
• For more fun in spanking, you could consider using the Lilly Fringe Whip which is a whip of soft tassels to caress your partner. If things lead to more intense scenes, it can be used with more force for a kind of kinky pleasure without feeling pain.

Role playing is a way to separate who you are and who you want to be. In this way, it can be completely freeing, removing any constraints that you may have during intimacy. And what’s also fun about role playing is that it can be any scenario at all. Use your wildest imagination, or go for something more mainstream. It’s all about what turns you and your partner on!

The main things to take note of when it comes to role playing are:

• It can be as simple or as elaborate as you want. For example, simply adding in a gorgeous strapless and flexible mask that makes you look and feel entirely enchanting is a way in which to embody a different character or persona.
• Discussing your fantasies and role playing ideas with your partner is essential to make sure you’re both intrigued and consenting.
• You could sit down and gather ideas together by watching films, documentaries, or porno movies that encompass role playing to get a better idea of what you’d like to try.
• It could be as easy as being strangers who meet in a bar.
• It could be more intense, including elaborate costumes and outfits that can really rev up any sexual experience.

Often, the words “dom” (short for dominant) and “sub” (short for submissive) seem intimidating. But it really does not need to be. There are a plethora of ways you can experiment with these different roles, be it in a light and playful way or a more intense way. The beauty of it too, is that you can take on a new role than what you’re used to, or you can decide to be a switch, which is when you experiment with being both a dom when you feel like it and a sub whenever that kind of mood strikes. 

The main things to take note of when it comes to dom/sub experimentation are:

• Practising dom/sub relations requires both parties to be safe, sane, and consensual.
• Both partners should discuss their activities beforehand and express their desire, limits, and hard limits before any play goes down.
• Assuming a role means that both partners are happy with their choice, and both should take it very light and slow if it’s your first time.
• Having items or a safe word/action ready to end any dom/sub scene is essential for safety.
• Aftercare is a must, as it makes both partners feel seen and taken care of. Aftercare can include cuddling, talking, getting your partner some water, or discussing what just took place, if you liked it, and if you’d like to try it again.

Orgasm delay sounds intense, but it’s merely a playful way in which to build up anticipation for bigger, better, and stronger orgasms. It need not involve any other BDSM props or tactics, and can be tailored to suit you and your partner in such a way that heavenly climax is experienced.

The main things to take note of when it comes to orgasm delay are:

• Be gentle. Orgasm delay, especially for beginners, isn’t about rough or hard stimulation that comes to a halt. It is about gently working your way up to a place when your partner is on the cusp of orgasm, then taking a brief pause.
• You can take as many pauses as needed to stir up the sexual tension, just be sure that your partner is comfortable at all times.
• Adding in a sex toy, such as a Smart Wand, is a great idea to experiment with orgasm delay.
• After orgasm has been achieved, it’s best to give the receiving partner some time to rest.
• Orgasm delay is great for men who are living with premature ejaculation, as it could help them to last longer in bed. 

Sex toys, oh glorious sex toys! We’ve spoken a bit about a few different types of sex toys throughout these 12 kinky things to try in bed, but December is the perfect time to cosy up and go for a new kind of bliss. Do you crave a new sensation? Or want to try something on or with your partner? Sex toys to the rescue. 

The main things to take note of when it comes to using new sex toys are:

• Making sure you’re both on the same page about using sex toys, as some may find them intimidating. Talking to your partner about the fact that a sex toy does not replace them but merely intensifies sexual energy could be a valuable conversation to have.
• Doing research together about the kinds of sex toys you are both interested in trying.
• Trying to find something new that you’ve not experimented with before, which could pave the way for more sexual sensations and different/better orgasms
• Researching your chosen sex toy in detail to know what it does, and checking out reviews, will ensure that you’re getting exactly what you’re after.
• Remembering to charge your sex toy before you use it for the first time, and to clean it before and after use, as to keep yourselves safe and sexy.

Just for good measure, there are some other sexy ideas you could bring into your sex life in 2023. Whether you’re single, in a couple, or married, there’s always a bit of spice you can add to your intimate adventures.

For singles, we’ve included things that you can do solely by yourself. There’s no need to anticipate a partner or a hook up in order to get started with these fun and interesting sex bucket list ideas.

• Learn Shibari: Shibari is a type of Japanese rope bondage. Of course, you don’t have to use this technique on anyone, but it does give off quite a beautiful aesthetic when someone is bound in this fashion.
• Go to a sex party: the thing about sex parties or swingers clubs is that you don’t have to participate in anything that you don’t want to. You can merely watch or leave if it’s not your thing.
• Find a new sex toy or form of stimulation: if you’re used to the same kinds of stimulation during masturbation, why not change it up this year? There are so many other ways to get aroused, such as nipple play, G-spot fun, prostate massage, anal exploration and more.
• Do a boudoir sexy photo shoot: this kind of experience is not only empowering but will also allow you to see yourself, bare, as beautiful as you are.
• Learn how to squirt: if you’re intrigued about it, why not practise? There are so many tutorials online, videos and blogs, that’ll teach you about squirting and different methods that may get you there.

For couples who are new, or are still nowhere near marriage, here are a few ideas you two could discuss and perhaps work towards this year for your own sex bucket list.

• Use couples sex toys: things such as insertable vibrators that use remotes/apps are a fun way in which to be naughty in public (or at home) without anyone knowing. What’s also fun is that it allows one partner to give up all control.
• Sext each other whilst at work: there’s nothing quite like getting a pick-me-up whilst you’re in the middle of some serious business (boring work business, that is). Sexting is also a great form of foreplay that can pave the way for lots of fun when you two get together again.
• Go for multiple orgasms: practice makes perfect, and if you’re interested to see just how magical your body is, use one of your love making sessions to see how far you can go when it comes to achieving multiple orgasms. 
• Read or write erotic stories for one another: with a fantasy in mind, get creative and allow your partner to enter your fantasy realm. It may just prompt a bit of naughty fun and new kinds of sexual exploration.
• Re-enact a movie sex scene or a porn scene: If there’s a scene from any kind of tv show or film that you both find particularly racy, reenact it! You could do it from your own experience, or even have it on and copy the actors as they do it.

Married couples, there’s a lot of fun and erotic things you can try! And while many married couples are past the honeymoon stage, things such as a married couples sex bucket list may just be the fuel that sets your sex life on fire.

• Try tantric sex: tantric sex is a more spiritual way in which to connect with your partner not only sexually but also on other levels. It involves breathwork, different touching techniques, movement of sexual energy, and lots of arousal.
• Staycation hotel sex: change is as good as a holiday, so instead of being intimate in the same place, hotel sex could feel like a little staycation, filled with a new environment and hopefully a new lustful passion.
• Go skinny dipping: escape the mundane and do something that’ll make you feel like teenagers again. Skinny dipping can be a really fun way to reconnect, to have a bit of a laugh, some adventure, and perhaps even a little erotic playfulness. 
• Try something new: this is a vague one, but use your imagination! It could be trying out a sex party or swingers club together, having a threesome, trying out a new sex toy together, or even participating in a bit of role play that’s fresh and arousing.
• Play a sex game: you may think that you know a lot about your husband or wife, but when you indulge in sex games like truth or dare, or other board games that prompt intimate questions and sexual prompts, you may just learn something brand new about them that really turns you on.

For one final idea, we love the thought of having a sex jar for couples!

What is a sex jar? Well, every time that you and your partner have sex (and remember: sex isn’t just penetration), you’ll put money into a jar. It can be a few coins, or notes, whatever you have on you. 

Then, by the end of the year, you can open up the jar and use it to do something magical, romantic, sexual, or other. Go for a nice dinner if you’ve only accumulated a couple hundred, or go plan to get it on in a new city or country if you’ve had a great year in sex. 

A sex jar is fun because it’s not just an incentive to have more sex, but you’ll get a reward from it at the end of the year. This will give you something to look forward to as you begin to ponder on some naughty date jar ideas. 

Go forth and have lots of sex, which in itself is great for your mental and physical health, and then treat yourself to all the sexy money you’ve so rightly earned.

Yet another great new year’s resolution for couples, wouldn’t you agree? 

So, are you ready for a year filled with new experiences, a deepened connection, and tons of sexual energy, kink, and orgasms? We surely hope so!