Light Bondage Ideas to Spice Up a Vanilla Bedroom Routine

So you want to dive into a new kind of sensual fun, do you? But maybe you’re a little frightened? Perhaps you’ve seen videos or heard stories about bondage or other realms of BDSM that were somewhat intimidating or even off-putting? No need to fear! There’s absolutely no reason to jump into the deep end here. 

In fact, there are several light bondage techniques you could try that are super pleasurable, kink-friendly, yet only a slight deviation from the vanilla sex life. Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it, we say! 

Let us introduce you to the world of BDSM, and give you the tips and tricks you need to slowly ease your way in.

The BDSM Lifestyle

BDSM stands for: 

  • Bondage: Consensually tying, binding, or restraining a partner for sexual satisfaction or the aesthetic.
  • Discipline: When a dominant sets rules for a submissive to obey. When these rules aren’t obeyed, punishment is given.
  • Sadism: When one derives pleasure and or sexual satisfaction from inflicting pain on, or humiliating, another.
  • Masochism: When one derives pleasure and or sexual satisfaction from receiving pain or humiliation.

It may seem quite daunting if you’re new to the BDSM world, but it doesn’t need to be. Each practice can be tailored to a level that’s pleasurable and comfortable for both partners.

The Lingo: Submissive & Dominant 

As we’ve mentioned the term ‘discipline’ already, this act of discipline is often given by someone who is referred to as a ‘dominant’. 

A dominant (aka a ‘dom’) has the responsibility of taking care of and looking out for their submissive’s general wellbeing. With this, they take a varying degree of control over their submissive (aka ‘sub’).

A submissive is someone who is willing to give up some or all of their control to their dominant. By doing this, they’re receiving the kind of mental, physical, and psychological stimulation that they seek.

For example: a dom may ask their sub to refrain from masturbation for a period of time, or they may request that their sub massages them or licks their feet. If the task is not completed, the sub will receive some kind of punishment or ‘discipline’.

Note: Everything that takes place between a dom and a sub should always be consensual. A dominant should always have their submissive’s best interests at heart, and they should always do what is best for their sub. 

With that, today we’re going to focus mainly on the submissive’s role, answering questions like: how to be submissive, what is submissive sex, and how to be a good sub in bed

We’re also going to take a peek into a few light bondage practices, such as mild bondage techniques that you can easily try at home, and light bondage tips to make sure you’re safe and happy.

How to Be Submissive in the Bedroom

Being submissive in the bedroom, and referring to oneself as a submissive, are two different things. You can be submissive without having the dom/sub relationship or dynamic, yet simply enjoy the role for an evening or two. 

However you plan to engage, the first important tip on how to be submissive, is to set some rules and boundaries with your partner beforehand. This means that you’ll discuss the things you want to try, your big no’s, and your limits. 

It’ll also prove invaluable to have a safe word, just in case, and to have things nearby that will bring you comfort should you need it, like a glass of water.

In all honesty, being submissive is all about communicating with your partner, and working together to create a dynamic that’s pleasurable for both of you. It also means being honest with yourself and your partner, having an open mind, and always putting your mental and physical health first. 

But for this dynamic to work, a dominant will need to have unwavering respect for their sub. This will create a strong sense of trust, making it comfortable to ultimately ‘submit’ to them. In other words, it’s a two-way-street, and both partners need each other in order to fulfill their roles in a safe and pleasurable manner.

Having said that, there’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to how to be a good submissive. The true meaning of being a good submissive relies heavily on the dominant, and the interactions, rules, respect, and trust that’s shared.

And in a strange turn of events, it is actually the submissive who has the power in a dom/sub relationship, as they’re able to dictate what they will or won’t allow. 

What is Submissive Sex?

Submissive sex is a role that is taken during sex. It entails being less dominant, and allowing a partner to be more in control and to take the reins. 

Submissive sex doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with BDSM, as many partners naturally assume one role or the other during sexual activity.

Light Bondage Ideas

In the realm of mild bondage, a submissive may enjoy or be interested in acts such as: 

 

  • Being tied up
  • Being spanked
  • Being flogged
  • Being blindfolded
  • Experiencing orgasm denial or delay

These different facets of bondage need not be extreme. Each can be designed to reflect light BDSM, something that merely gives you a taste of gentle bondage in the bedroom. 

So, let’s get up close and personal with these light bondage techniques, shall we?

Being Tied Up

There are various props you can use to enjoy this kind of practice. For beginners who’re looking to engage in mild bondage, you could choose to use elegant handcuffs that will not only allow you to experiment with light bondage, but will also create a gorgeous aesthetic. 

Spanking

Try bending over your partner’s knee and having them give you light spanks to see how you like it. Adjust the speed and intensity to find the most pleasurable technique. 

Flogging

For a different kind of spanking, you could use a device such as a flogger, a fun and provocative item that can tease the skin, or induce painful pleasure. And you’ll be pleased to know that, when the body experiences a form of pain or pleasure, dopamine is released, which is essentially our pleasure hormone. 

Blindfolding

When you can’t see what’s happening, your only instinct is to feel. With this, even the slightest of touches can feel intimate and intense, creating a higher level of arousal. 

Orgasm Delay or Denial

When one partner is extremely aroused and possibly on the edge of climax, a dominant could delay or deny their orgasm. This is similar to edging, where stimulation is removed from the source of pleasure for a short period of time to delay climax, whereas orgasm denial would be not allowing someone to climax at all.

Light Bondage Tips

  • Respect, communication, and trust: Before any kinky fun takes place, remember to talk with your partner about all of your desires, your likes and dislikes. Always respect each other and communicate your needs, and refrain from any BDSM activities with someone you do not trust.

 

  • Mood enhancers: To soften the mood for your mild bondage premiere, you could light some sensual candles, use essential oils to heighten your sense of smell and relaxation, play some music, or add a few sexy lingerie accessories into the mix.

 

  • Educate: While we hope to have been super thorough and informative, we do recommend that you consult several different reliable sources before you play. There are tons of sites, videos, and how-to guides for more light bondage tips, depending on what you’re thinking of trying.
  • Flogging: If you persist to a more extreme form of flogging, be sure to avoid the spine, the hips, or upper butt. Also try to avoid wrapping, which is when the tail wraps around a person’s body. Whichever way you choose to enjoy it though, we recommend doing some more research on the best and safest methods.
  • Spanking: The one doing the spanking should start with soft spanks using the palm of their hand, while taking the time to massage the lower back, hips, butt, and thights. This will create a more relaxed state. 
  • Blindfolds: You could easily use something you have at home such as a tie, bandana, or even a rolled or folded up sweater to give this practice a try. Or, you could opt for a satin blindfold that’s soft yet utterly erotic.
  • Handcuffs: A fun way to pass the time would be to have one partner handcuffed while the other performs oral sex on them. Or you could ramp up the heat by teasing your partner with your lips, hands, or even a feather tickler. In this way, one sense is restricted, allowing all of the other senses to be even more powerful. And if you’re not sold on handcuffs, you could use a prop that you have at home, such as a scarf, which might add that extra touch of sensuality.
  • Comfort: Your comfort is the most important thing to remember. You never have to do anything you’re uncomfortable with, and consent is sexy (and mandatory!).

So, while light bondage can be a whole lot of fun when you’re with the right person, if your partner ever makes you feel intimidated or coerced into trying something you don’t want to, then they’re most certainly the wrong person to try bondage, or any form of BDSM practice, with. 

Your health and wellbeing will always be a priority, so take care of yourself! But also, have fun! You only live once!

 

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