For those who are on the fence about what bondage actually means, we’re going to take the opportunity to indulge. 

And as a side note, did you know that bondage has had a place in erotic novels, films, and art for centuries? All the way from Remrandt’s Andromeda Chained to the Rocks in 1960 to Fifty Shades of Grey. Indeed, there is a place in history for bondage, and it is by no means a new concept.

Either way, we’re just glad you’re here, ready to learn more about the joys and lustful adventures that come with practising bondage with a trusted partner. With that, let’s get started…

Bondage is a form of BDSM that involves restraining or tying up a partner. What is BDSM? Well, it stands for bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism. 

Bondage—which we’ll focus on today, and as we mentioned, involves restraint. It’s when a dominant partner has control over a submissive partner who relinquishes control. In this way, the submissive partner’s movement is restricted.

Discipline is when there is a dominant partner who sets out rules for their submissive partner. In this case, the submissive is expected to obey these rules and act in a behaviour that’s deemed suitable for their dominant. If rules are adhered, there are rewards to be reaped, and if not, there may be punishment involved.

Sadism, in the realm of a consentual relationship, is when someone gains (sexual) gratification from infliciting pain on a willing participant or submissive.

Masochism, in the realm of a consentual relationship, is when someone gains (sexual) gratification from receiving pain from a sadist or dominant.

Going back to the question: what is bondage, it can be enjoyed in a variety of different ways. And these ways are not just physical. 

Bondage gives both partners the ability to be introduced to a combination of psychological and physiological stimuli. For example, if one is restrained, the play-struggle can induce an adrenaline rush. 

Another example of this is being blindfolded. Think back to a moment when you closed your eyes. Perhaps during a massage or listening to a beautiful piece of music. In that moment, you’re really focusing on the activity, allowing yourself to be immersed in the situation, making it even more intense. 

This notion is essentially what many people experience when they’re blindfolded during bondage play.

Now before you go forth, throwing caution to the wind, it’s important that you know about some of the do’s and don'ts associated with beginner bondage. One does not simply try bondage with a new partner that they don’t fully trust, or during a one night stand. 

And so, here is a little beginner bondage guide to help you before you reap all of the bondage benefits:

• Do engage in bondage with a trusted partner with whom you feel entirely safe.
• Do have a candid, open, and honest conversation with your partner before you engage in bondage to establish rules, guidelines, likes/dislikes, and limits.
• Do have a “safe word” in-place before play time (a word that can be said to indicate discomfort or wanting to end the activity).
• Do engage in aftercare after bondage play, as this will make both partners feel wanted and taken care of. This can include cuddling, talking about the experience, or taking the time to simply be with each other.
• Do use comfortable restraints, at least in the beginning, so that the first experience isn’t frightening and scary.
• Do make your bondage escapable.
• Do have items on-hand that are necessary for removing bondage gear, like scissors.
• Do take it slow and keep in-check with each other throughout the process.
• Do understand the risk or dangers attached to what you may be doing.

• Don’t dismiss your partner’s concerns. Trust and respect is, above all else, the most important aspect of bondage.
• Don’t cause actual damage, be it physical, mental, emotional, or psychological. The experience should be something that’s enjoyed, so being safe, sane, and consensual is important.
• Don’t surprise your partner by doing something that hasn’t been agreed to beforehand.
• Don’t do tricky or advanced bondage techniques on your partner. Instead practice them beforehand on inanimate objects many times.
• Don’t assume that your partner is down for anything, it’s all about communication.
• Don’t reject reality. Just because it is a fantasy doesn’t mean that all logic and safety precautions shouldn’t be considered and adhered to.

After having read through the do’s and don’ts of bondage, are you keen on exploring a few of the best bondage sex positions for beginners? This will give you a little taste of the activity itself, seeing whether you think you’d really love it!

Herewith, the best bondage sex positions for beginners for you to gander and possibly try:

The chair bondage position includes one partner being restrained to a chair. One could think of it as the damsel-in-distress scene. To practice it, all you’ll need is a sturdy chair and bindings (such as rope, bondage tape, handcuffs, or ties). 

The person who is going to be bound will then sit on the chair as their partner begins to restrain them to the chair. The restraints can be as simple or as elaborate as you’re comfortable with, making this a perfect bondage position for beginners. 

For example, one could solely have their ankles tied to the chair if that’s what is comfortable. Or, they could have their torso and wrists bound to the chair too. It’s all up to you and your partner. 

For this, we’ll consider sex positions that encompass sumissive positioning. Some of our favourites include:

• Spreader Bar submissive positioning: in this submissive sex position, the submissive can wear a spreader bar around their ankles which will then keep them apart. Then, they can stand up and lean against something while the dominant partner takes control.

• Sweet Surrender submissive positioning: A simple submissive sex position, but a real goodie! Doing the Sweet Surrender means the submissive partner will have their hands above their head, in restraints such as handcuffs or ties, so that the dominant partner can have their way with them. May we suggest edging whilst in this position? Edging is when the dominant partner teases their lover to the point of near-orgasm, then halts all sources of stimulation. After a few times, the intensity builds, allowing for a much bigger climax.

• Armlock submissive positioning: The Armlock bondage position is great for beginners because one doesn’t even need a bondage prop to practice it. Instead, it’s like a pro-wrestler scenario where the submissive partner is pinned down at the arms (behind their back) and the dominant uses their body weight to restrain them. They need not use all of their weight if it is too uncomfortable, but the idea is that the submissive partner listens to the dominant who may give them instructions not to move. Then the couple can engage in doggy style sex in all of its glory.

For this, we’ll consider bondage positions for men. Or rather, ideas that are perfect for male subs. Some of our favourites include:

• Blindfolds & Restraints: using a blindfold and your chosen restraint, a dominant partner can either simply blindfold their submissive male or blindfold and restrain them. This bondage position for men can be done whilst he is sitting on a chair, laying on a bed cuffed to bed posts, or even having their wrists tied together. There are a slew of combinations available with these simple bondage accessories, so partners can really use their imagination and go wild!

• Pegging: Pegging is when someone wears a strap-on dildo in order to anally penetrate someone. Granted, pegging is not for everyone. But if a male sub enjoys pegging, the dominant could tie their submissive male’s wrists behind their back, and then slowly start to peg them. 

For this, we’ll consider bondage positions for women. Or rather, ideas that are perfect for female subs. Some of our favourites include:

• Over-the-chair: find a good, stable chair that’s a comfortable height for the submissive women to bend over. Then, use your chosen bondage material (we suggest bondage tape for bondage beginners), have them bend over the chair with their ankles on either side of the chair. Then, you can bind their ankles, wrists, body, and/or the backs of their legs to the chair itself, and have your way with them. Sex positions such as anal sex or even doggy style can be a lot of fun in this bondage position for women.

• The pole: this bondage sex position for beginners will only work if you have a pole in your house, so that’s obviously going to factor in whether you can try it or not. If you do, you can use bondage tape to tape the female sub’s wrists behind them to the pole, or go a few steps further by taping their waist, and thighs. In this position, you can spread their legs and hold one leg up in order to fully embrace this bondage sex position.  

In the majority of this article, we’ve mentioned using restraints such as ties, handcuffs, and bondage tape. But there’s another kid on the block that’s equally, if not more, tantalising when it comes to bondage.

For example, our Wide Belt and Restraints are not just a sexy prop, but can also amp up your beginner bondage experience if it’s that leather, kinky, BDSM-inspired aesthetic you’re after. 

It’s a multi-purpose accessory that can be worn as a fashion statement over a shirt or dress, or can be used as a restraint in the bedroom. 

As a fashion statement, this beautiful leather restraint belt goes around the waist, sitting tight and exceptionally pretty. But as a bondage prop, simply detach the central strip, pass it through the front ring, and you’ll be left with a couple of restraints that can go around your wrist. After this, the clasp strip turns into a leash, allowing a dominant partner to not only tie you up, but also lead the way…

Essentially, you’ve got a two-in-one: a leather restraint belt to wear, and a wide belt and restraint to entertain both you and your partner.

And, as we reach closer and closer to the end of our little bondage beginner positions guide, we wanted to add in a sneaky step-by-step cheat sheet. 

That is, a DIY trick on how to make handcuffs out of a belt! Exciting stuff!

1.  Step one: How to use a belt as handcuffs? Firstly, get a leather belt, of any width, with a buckle. The thicker the belt, the better.
2.  Step two: fold the non-buckle end halfway to the buckle, then flatten it. Grab the loose end and fold it back on top of itself to create a flat loop. Having done this, the non-buckle end should sit about midway on the belt, and the side that faces out is pressed against itself.
3.  Step three: thread the top of the flat loop partially through the belt buckle, but not all the way through. The non-buckle end should be outside of the buckle
4.  Step four: Manoeuvre the belt to make one big cuff or circle using the loop, and tug and tighten accordingly so that the belt doesn’t lose shape. Essentially, you’re forming a loop within a loop with the non-buckle tail end sticking out.
5.  Step five: Adjust the size of the cuff so that it fits comfortably on a partner. You can practise this by asking your partner to make a fist with both wrists placed in front of them, pressed together. Slip the cuff over both hands, using the tail end to adjust the cuffs.

And voila! You now know how to use a belt to tie hands or should we say, how to make a belt into handcuffs. 

Following these steps can be a whole lot of fun, and super cost-effective too. We just advise as you’re safe, and that you perhaps practise this technique on an inanimate object until you’re certain you’re ready to do it on a willing partner. 

Do you feel up to speed with the whole bondage beginner scene? Have any questions? We’re always available for chats or info! 

Alternatively, we have a selection of other blogs that may be of interest to you in the realm of BDSM, bondage, good sex, and other intriguing topics!