We lose our libido at a frenzied rate, almost as frenzied as the way we live our life these days. But, hey, that doesn’t mean there’s nothing we can do about it. You have the power to improve your libido, and it’s easier than you think. No need for chemicals or miracles, just loads of pleasure and wellbeing, and your libido will be back before you know it. How? Grab yourself a pen and paper, you have homework:
Boost your physical health
If your body isn’t on form, your libido won’t be either. So, let’s have a look at everything which can bring you health and wellbeing so that you perform in bed like never before?
- Ditch the tobacco
Oh, tobacco. What’s said about history’s most permitted drug has changed so much in recent decades that selling it has had to become increasingly ingenious. But who are we kidding? Smoking is just not cool.
Despite the fact that for a while the image of a man smoking a cigarette was synonymous with being a handsome, macho stud, the reality was (and is) that smoking has terrible pulmonary and cardiovascular consequences. And there’s not a lot more important than good cardiovascular health and healthy lungs for coping with a proper session of unbridled sex. Don’t go limiting your physical ability if you want to perform in bed (or on the sofa, or in the kitchen, or…). Stopping smoking is part of the process of increasing libido.
- Eat real food
We are what we eat, and this is something you need to have burned into your retina for the next time you open the fridge. Following a nutritious diet, prioritising vegetables, lean protein and reduced sugars, will increase your energy levels in addition to keeping certain health problems at bay, such as bad circulation, high cholesterol, type 2 diabetes and endless inflammatory problems.
What’s best? If you want to improve your libido, eat a diet based on protective foods like vegetables, pulses, greens, fruit, and nuts, accompanied with neutral foods such as good-quality meat, fish, seafood and dairy, good animal-protein substitutes like soya, wholemeal flours, and eggs. Then, finally, every now and then a little refined flour, sugar, products with additives or alcohol.
Better nutritional health will give you better physical health and better performance between the sheets. It’s worth it, right?
- Physical exercise? Absolutely!
You don’t need to turn yourself into an elite athlete, you just need to speed your metabolism up a little every day and make physical activity become a habit and not a punishment. You need to be moderately in shape in to increase your libido. Why? Let us tell you:
Daily physical exercise gets your good-mood hormones flowing, the same ones you secrete when you’re having sex, as well as laying the foundations for having a body that is agile and ready for action. Apart from that, it increases energy in the day, improves rest at night, and boosts your self-esteem and intrapersonal relationship.
And half an hour is enough. Choose the exercise you like the most, because this is a long-distance race, not a sprint. The more time you dedicate to this good habit the better results you will see and the more motivated you will be to reach the next level. To this daily half hour add getting up every half an hour from your desk if you work at one, walking to places, not taking the lift, household chores to upbeat music… There are thousands of tricks, but only one body like yours!
And if I were to tell you that your brain is particularly active at night… well I would be telling the truth. Our brain takes advantage of the night-time hours to consolidate memories, process information, discard data it doesn’t deem important, create connections and, ultimately, it calls all the shots in terms of our body so that we can be what we are programmed to be. And I’m afraid to say that, if we don’t rest properly, we have a problem. Improving your libido also involves taking care of the most sexual organ of all, the brain!
In a brain that is poorly rested we find jobs that have been left “half-done” and the brain controls absolutely everything. Broadly speaking, sleeping well improves mood and ups performance, but this is nothing more than the result of having a functioning system. Without rest we would not be able to process information received throughout the day, nor could we secrete the appropriate hormones for the different part of the day (or night, if you know what I mean) nor make connections which serve to recognise our needs. In other words, without rest we are nothing.
What to do? Good sleep hygiene is crucial. Ideally you should aim for 7-8 hours of quality sleep, avoiding blue light for at least one hour before sleep and one hour after waking up. If you can keep your sleep routine the same every day, apart from lapses at the weekend, then even better. Your body and your libido will thank you for it.
- Water, water and more water
This is just a quick reminder to drink more than 1.5L of water every day. Think about how your fluids leave your body, and if your body is underhydrated… little fluid will flow. Also, it improves skin texture, it’s vital for every one of your organs, including the brain, and it is, literally, more than 60% of what you are.
Improve your mental health
Nowadays mental health is a hot topic, and that’s a good thing. Realising how necessary it is to have good mental health is the first step towards removing the stigma, and towards people who really need help starting to ask for it so they can get better.
Stress is one of your libido’s worst enemies. Don’t be surprised, it’s a biological fact: although these days sex is about more than procreation, thousands of years ago you weren’t going to increase your brood in a state of constant danger. And stress, whether caused by work, family, finances, expectations or even if it has nothing to do anything you can relate to, is essentially a state of constant danger for your body, or at least this is how it is perceived.
To remove stress from your life and start to focus on what is really important, meditating is a great exercise. And you don’t need to know how to detach yourself from everything. Just starting with some breathing and focusing on the present, even if only for a few seconds, is enough. Find a quiet and safe space where you can meditate daily, preferably in the morning before starting anything else. Use some relaxing music or one of the hundreds of guided meditations you can find on the internet to help you. As you start to free yourself of stress, a great burden will be lifted from your libido.
- Therapy is always a good option
Be it therapy as a couple or individually, it’s always a good idea to turn to a specialist to talk, resolve issues, reflect, or even admit your fears.
Having a low sex drive can be cause by a whole host of factors that you may, or may not, have considered; and a specialist will help you discover and resolve these problems so you can have the healthy and satisfying sex life that you desire
Sometimes we get a little lost in the hurly-burly of life. All this immediacy and public overexposure has turned us upside-down as a society. Nowadays we tie ourselves in knots wanting to do more and more, constantly proving ourselves and forgetting about what is really important: Does what I do make me happy?
Prioritising is an excellent reflective exercise that I encourage you to do several times a year, whenever you feel like you’re losing the plot. It’s likely that this low libido is nothing more than physical and mental exhaustion, lack of time, stress and situations that are not conducive to developing as a sane person. It might well be better to go home after work, relax and read a good book than go out for drinks with colleagues. Also, all that time you spend keeping it up for hours and hours at the gym might be better invested in your relationship.
Make a list of the things you want and the things you do. Do they match up? If they don’t, review and prioritise.
Rediscover your sexuality
Not everything is conquered, indeed there is still much to explore. Human sexuality exists as a continuum, and if you have become stuck in a spot where desire is not flowing as it should… there is a solution!
- Quality time
As we have revealed so far, libido feeds off myriad of factors, one of them being emotions.
If you are in a relationship, you don’t need reminding that you have to nurture it constantly. You have to care for it, enrich it, work together to solve problems and, above all, celebrate it. Sowing seeds of quality time with one’s partner is of paramount importance if you want to harvest a cast-iron libido. Increase intimate moments, create new emotional bonds, treasure good experiences, enhance the relationship with physical reinforcements like hugs, kisses and caresses…. Seeking moments in which to give your relationship your full attention and anything that may contribute to taking it to higher plane will, in turn, boost your libido.
Keeping passion alive amidst the monotony of everyday life, stress, lack of time and disenchantment is an almost impossible task. Remember that lack of desire for your partner isn’t the cause, it’s the consequence.
- Slow Sex
If you’re going to have some fun, go all out (but take it slow, slow, slow). The theory is all very good, but sometimes all you need to do is rediscover yourself to get your libido flowing better than ever and to reconnect those frayed bonds. What about if we do it with Slow Sex?
If you have a partner, this could be an excellent rebonding exercise for you both. We ask only one thing: go with an open mind. No preconceived ideas about what sex is and what you usually do. This time aim to experiment afresh, as if you were discovering your body and that of your partner for the first time.
Sometimes the tried and tested, or the pressure of “must to” for certain things, can give our sex drive a knock because we are not heeding our true desires. Forget that, from now on we are going to listen to what our desires are really saying and act on it. Sound good?
History is awash with treasured knowledge from our ancestors to complement food and boost mental and physical performance. Chemical-free, natural libido pick-me-ups also exist, and are listed here below.
Maca is a superfood which does many things, including improving sexual desire. It is rich in minerals: copper, iron, calcium, zinc; and in B-vitamins. Good for combatting signs of stress, gearing up for big moments and boosting sex drive.
This plant, with its yellow flowers and spiky fruits, is used to boost liver function, increase appetite, reduce pain, and enhance sexual performance. It also nurtures a feeling of wellbeing and physical fitness.
Recommended to those whose circulation needs stimulation as it increases blood flow throughout the body, including the penis, which translates into a notable improvement in the ability to get and maintain an erection.
It improves your response to stress, delays physical and mental exhaustion, gives your immune system a boost, increases sexual appetite and enhances erections.
Improving your libido is just a question of knowledge and honesty. Is there something within your habits which is holding you back? Do you see sex or masturbation as an obligation? Are you really nurturing your wellbeing and pleasure? Give yourself a breather and reset your body and mind. Your sex drive will come flooding back.
And you, what do you do to improve your libido?