Valentine’s Day is getting close, and with it come plans and the most romantic dates. One of our favourite plans for surprising a partner is to give them a much desired erotic massage, the plan of choice for many on such a special day. But, do you know how to give an erotic massage? Regardless of whether you are a SEXpert or not when it come to this, we are going to give you all the key info so that you don’t miss a trick next time.
Step by step guide to erotic massage
Create the right atmosphere
The atmosphere is of crucial importance when it comes to getting in the mood. Let’s say that creating the right ambience for an erotic massage is lays the tracks for what is to come. Take your time to adjust the room to make it more welcoming, lighting candles, incense or an aromatiser, suggestive or relaxing music.... Whoever you invite on this adventure will be able to focus on preparing their body for the experience, building anticipation and, possibly, working on a fantasy to bring along.
Dry massage... best not. What you need is something slippery, which smells good, has a pleasant texture and which you can smother over the whoooole body. Some use coconut oil, other cosmetic oil. It’s not an issue if you don’t plan to take it further, but with this type of massage you know how it begins but not how it will end, so for erotic massage you’re best off using gels that you know you can eat, involve in penetration and use on toys. Let us give you some ideas:
Even so, not everyone has the same needs. Keep reading and in the tips section you will find out how to discover the perfect erotic massage gel for you.
Step by step: starting small
Yes, yes, perfect atmos and lots of gel, but what you really want to know is how to actually perform an erotic massage. Short answer? However, you want. Long answer? Well, there are some tricks: The best thing is to go step by step, starting small. The body is very large (we have 2m2 of skin) and so the best thing would be to leave no part unmassaged and this message of starting small can be applied to every step of the journey. Here’s a clear example:
- Start by gently applying the gel with your hands all over their body. Consciously, from the top (the neck area) to the bottom (down to the feet).
- Then do the same thing backwards, from the bottom to the top, but this time massaging, pressing a little more firmly and lingering in zones that may cause more pleasure like the soles of the feet, the buttocks, the back and the base of the neck.
- Ask the person you are massaging to turn over and start all over again. Apply the gel gently from top to bottom. When you near the genitals, don’t pay them any special attention; all in good time.
- Repeat step 2, from the bottom to the top, this time massaging the front of the body. Spend a little more time on the more pleasurable zones, like the thighs, genitals, chest and shoulders.
It doesn’t all have to end at step 4. Dedicating time to a person’s most pleasurable zones doesn’t mean that you have to bring them to orgasm. What’s more, the longer you wait and the more you focus on bringing pleasure to other parts of the body, the more intense the orgasm. You can start back at step 1 again, this time bringing some other elements into play, such as your mouth.
A touch of spice
An erotic massage gel is already quite hot, but what about a toy too? Or an orgasm enhancer? Or oral sex balm? There are so many ways to take erotic massage to another level that we’re getting quite excited!
- Add in a toy if...
You want to keep your hands free to continue caressing your partner’s body while the toy prepares the territory a little, or if you want to use the toy itself for the massage.
- Add an orgasmic balm if...
You want to turn your partner on and bring them more enjoyment than ever when you reach their clitoris. The mix of a relaxing massage and the intensity of the balm is totally explosive!
- Add oral sex balm if...
You plan to perform the finale with your mouth and are seeking that contrast between the heat of their body and the cooling effect of the oral sex balm. You have to try it.
- Add in a lubricant if...
You want it all: masturbation, penetration... unbridled sex. Just because. Because with a massage you know how it starts but not how it ends, and it is very likely to go all the way and with a quiver of orgasms along the journey.
5 tips for an erotic massage
Now you know how to give an arotic massage and what you can add in to make the experience more intense, you just need to bear in mind these 5 tips that all experts in partner massage ought to know:
No interruptions: It may seem obvious, but it can be very distracting if you know that somone may open the door at any given moment or if you plan the massage when your neighbour’s karaoke session is in full swing. Choose the quietest bedroom and the calmest time of the day that you both have available.
Consider the type of gel or oil: Yes, we’ve already mentioned this, but it is really important to choose the gel or oil well and in line with what you plan to do and what else you might add. The best thing? Water-based lubricant gel if you want to include penetration. It’s compatible with toys, condoms, and oral sex. When it comes to oil, yes, there are oil-based gels which are ideal for massage, but they are not compatible with condoms. Bear this in mind.
Smooth, warm hands: Make sure your nails are short, and your hands moisturised and warm before starting to place them on their body. And no squirting cold gel on them! Rub it between your hands first and warm it up. Think about how your hands are going to be the tool you’ll use to bring that person to the height of pleasure. It’s worth paying them some attention.
Have the toys to hand: Nothing more awkward than stopping mid enjoyment to go searching through boxes under the bed or in the bedside cabinet for what you need right now. Because if you turn on the light, get up, don’t find it, look somewhere else... pfff, forget it. Much better to have them at hand’s reach BEFORE starting. What’s more, they can be a good starter course, don’t you think?
Don’t rush: At all. None of the going straight for the genitals or wanting orgasm straight away. Enjoy it! It is a massage, and the massage comes first. Everything else is additional. Enjoy the company, the moment, how beautiful and welcoming you’ve made the space, the aroma of the candles, of the gel sliding gently over your partner. Work slowly and enjoy much more.
Now that you know how to make erotic massage something totally pleasurable, what are you waiting for to give it a try? Surprise your partner with a delicious moment of pleasure and rediscover their body like you have never done before.