The present is gathering speed. We are living in the era of communication and, while we are still digesting the conquest of many of our rights, the present is reinventing itself to contradict us, question us, make us visible and restore us. Today on International Transgender Day of Visibility and we have some questions to ponder.
Non-binary gender and transgender identities
Let’s break this down. The term ‘non-binary people’ tends to include transgender identities. In other words, a non-binary (NB) person is a trans person (someone who doesn’t identify with the gender assigned to them at birth because of their genitals). But there are non-binary people who don’t identify as transgender because they see it as following binary patterns – masculine and feminine.
If this all sounds complicated, don’t worry, there is a remarkably simple principle which will iron out all your doubts: There is no single way to be a non-binary person, and all ways are equally valid.
What does being a Non-Binary person mean?
Non-binary gender is applied to those people whose gender lies outside of gender binarism, since their self-assigned identity is neither totally masculine nor totally feminine. However, it is not a third gender, but rather a separate parameter to the binary system with a practically infinite spectrum.
Gender identity is separate from sexual or romantic orientation, and non-binary people have a variety of sexual orientations, just like cisgender people. And watch out! Being non-binary is not the same as being intersexual either; intersexuality is linked to physical characteristics (genitals, gonads, hormones, and chromosomes) which are also not embedded in the binary system, although gender certainly is.
And, so, how does non-binary gender get us closer to going gender free?
Sexual wellbeing and being genderless
Removing the binary labels of male and female is a massive step. Leaving behind any idea that certain colours, smells, shapes, or characteristics are linked to one specific gender does not only remove the stigma around it (“ooh, that smells masculine”), but it also brings us closer to true social equality in which your identity, expression or orientation does not define, and is not defined by, your tastes, imagination, or habits.
Of course, when it comes to sexual wellbeing products, we can also go gender-free. The only thing you need to do is enjoy the gels and lubricants, not to mention toys and other accessories you may add to your sex life, and know your body and your desires. There are indeed toys and enhancers which are made with the anatomy of genitals in mind. However, on the one hand, gender-free liberates you from the pressure to identify yourself according to the gender imposed by your genitals, and, on the other hand, it encourages you to explore pleasure in a more sincere and conscious manner, where anyone can play and try any of the tools that the erotic and sexual wellbeing sector may bring.
The visibilising of trans people has opened up a whole new world in which genitals and gender cannot be assumed by the dominant system and, what’s more, they don’t need to be presented as a duality. Furthermore, by following these principles, not only do non-binary people not fit into this system, they also differ from it without becoming a third gender; they avoid the binary system so as to become fully individual, given that there is more than one way to be non-binary, in fact there is a whole spectrum of identities and expressions, and they are all valid.
Redesigning the present, building the future
Slow Sex is genderless and consciously so. At Bijoux Indiscrets, we always encourage exploring our bodies without taboos or prejudice, but this time we decided to direct all our energy and passion into creating a collection conceived purely for pleasure, without giving two hoots about the identities of the bodies who would be enjoying it. Because pleasure accessories, toys, lubricants, and gels are gender free. You bring the gender.